08.07.2002 - 3:29 p.m.

Lord of the Rings came out on DVD yesterday. I WANT it. But I was trying to think logically. You see, it�s slightly difficult to rationalize the purchase of a DVD, however fantastically wonderful, when I don�t own a DVD player. And at the moment, it�s slightly difficult to rationalize the purchase of a DVD player either. I am in the process of moving. I have start-up fees and cleaning fees and security deposits to pay up. I need new contacts and an oil change and an emissions test. I will be paying double rent for the two weeks my leases overlap. My home computer and stereo are both officially dead, and need repairs and/or replacement.

So last night, I had decided not to get anything. I can get it on VHS. That�s the important thing, you know. Just to have the movie.

But when I turned on the computer this morning, it had the blue screen of death up with the following message on it:

**********OFFICIAL TRANSMISSION **********

FROM: Never-Neverland Dept. of Selfishness and Spontenaity
TO: Ms. Sarah [deleted]

IN RE: LAPSE OF COVERAGE

This notice hereby informs you of the impending termination of your maturity insurance (policy #191979-00).

As the continuation rider you purchased upon turning twenty-one years of age clearly stipulates in section I.4, said rider will expire permanently upon your final decision to grow up. Such a decision will be deemed made upon clear evidence of your failure to act in joyful, unpremeditated ways on a regular basis, or upon clear evidence that you consider such activities to be �impractical,� �stupid,� or �ill-advised.�

As of your failure to follow through on your road trip plans, your maturity insurance has been suspended pending final investigation. If it is found that you have not taken progressive action in this matter, your insurance will be terminated as will your visitors privileges in Never-Neverland, the Doit Later Estates, and DeNile.

Questions or concerns may not be forwarded, since anyone with questions or concerns has clearly made the final decision to grow up.

Sincerely,

Bob Fitzgerald, Agent

Second-Star Ins.
Department of Selfishness and Spontenaity
The Treehouse
Never-Neverland

********END OFFICIAL TRANSMISSION********

I suppose it�s a little disturbing to note that there is a beaurocracy even in Never-Neverland, but there you have it. I�m just going to have to go out and buy me a DVD player.

Ooo! I could get one that plays cds and MP3s, too.

-stonebridge

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