08.29.2007 - 1:57 p.m.

I don�t know why I came to work today.

First, there were nightmares, gut-wrenching nightmares. And my smoke alarm woke me up, with three shrill beeps, way too early in the morning� but investigation showed that it was telling me its battery was dying, not that my house was on fire.

Then, when I got here, they�d tried to clean my carpet again�they�d screwed up with it last week, leaving it too wet, until it smelled like something had died in here. So they came back, with stronger chemicals. Now it smells like artificial lemons� over something dead. Lots of phone calls to make about that.

But, surprise! My office phones do not work. Why? I don�t know. Because karma hates me, I suppose. Been using my cellphone, but my boss isn�t in his office, and neither is anyone else I need to find. What then? Well, I figured I�d walk over to some of the other offices�campus technology for the phones, or maintenance for the odor of dead yeti.

But, surprise! We have an armed robber on campus. I shit you not. He held up some convenience store with a .45 and is now hiding out in the woods nearby, so the campus is locked down�literally locked down, as in I don�t have the keys necessary to leave this building. Or its dead-yeti smell.

You have to laugh, right? This is funny. It�s gotta be funny, or I�ll cry.

-stonebridge

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