01.23.2002 - 4:04 p.m.

An addendum: why is it that I like guys/want one? I don't need one. I have a perfect roommate and a cute and loving kitten, plenty of cool and wonderful friends. I have a place that's (sorta) mine, a car, and that roadtrip (someday). And I like my life. No, really. I have let go of all (most) of the obsessive life planning I used to do, all of the regret, most of the self-inflicted tailspins. Still working on the shyness, but I have never been as happy as I've felt since I got single. I never knew this kind of contentment was even possible. Now, before I was single, I was miserable, but that was quite a while ago, so I know it's more than emotional backwash.

Guys complicate life. A male friend of mine keeps saying that they're really quite simple (i.e. food, sex, sleep), and that us girls are the complicated ones, but I dunno. Life is so much simpler on my own.

Guys I like are never good bets anyway. They're always controlling or rebounding or emotionally unavailable or complete strangers or some unfortunate combination of all the above. My hormones aren't terribly intelligent.

Cats cuddle better anyway- no excess body heat, and they never steal the covers. Or bug you when you'd rather sleep.

Well, maybe that last one. But you can always shut the kitten out.

So based on all that, I shouldn't want a guy. Any guy. If anything, I should be a lesbian. (although to be entirely honest, I bet we're at least as annoying to like...)

Anyway. I think too much, and I should be working. If I can think of anything to do. Boss is out again, and I really needed that meeting so I could be at all productive. We're a bit sluggish in the head today, because I was up late and then woke up eight minutes before I absolutely had to get in my car, and then forgot to bring food. Luckily there was the campus store, and I had a coupla singles left over from dinner yesterday. Nilla wafers are the best, followed closely by Fritos and chili cheese dip. God, I need to start eating real food.

-stonebridge

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