05.20.2002 - 3:54 p.m.

So usually when I write a post, I'm working from some notes, or at least one scribbled phrase on the back of an ATM reciept. Today is not one of those days. Haven't written all weekend- haven't even thought about writing. Watched too many damn movies. (Good movies, though.) This is because the roommate's guy comes down every weekend, and I always feel like I have to entertain him for as long as he's in the house. Funny, because the roommate doesn't feel so obligated. She spring cleaned her room.

I was going to get so much done this weekend. Every weekend, I start with a list of stuff, and every weekend, I end up watching every movie Vin Diesel's ever done, and both versions of Ocean's 11, and spending an entire afternoon touring possible reception sites with the two of them. I waste money eating out or ordering Chinese or who knows what else. I mean, the roommate and her guy are good company, but sometimes I wish I had more of my own space over weekends.

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Sometimes I'll be doing something like laundry or driving to the movies and I'll start imagining a kiss. Not with anyone in particular, I just start feeling lips on my lips, with maybe just a hint of tongue... Or sometimes when I'm falling asleep I'll imagine an arm thrown over me (but never feeling too hot, or listening to snores, or having to wrestle the covers back.)

I don't know that it will be worth dating anyone for a long time yet, but I miss the little comforting things.

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On an unrelated note, I have wasted nearly $60 of other people's money on email and IM today. Once upon a time, when I was younger and thinner and easier to enthuse, I had a work ethic. I can't think where I must have misplaced it.

-stonebridge

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