10.26.2004 - 12:19 p.m.

I have been an awful employee lately. Partly this is because I haven't seen my boss in weeks, but honestly it is my own problem. I show up late because not only do I not care, I know nobody else does, either. I putz on the internet all day, again because there are no consequences. None of my projects have deadlines. They just float, off in the ether, not getting worked on, not getting reported on, not getting done.

I hate being like this.

It comes in cycles, the busy and happy and productive, then the bored and depressed and getting high scores in online boggle. There is a correlation with how often I see my boss, but I wish I could see better what it is about this job, or about me, that really lets this happen. This is an interior problem.

Oh, and my room at home is a mess, too. That's always a bad sign.

I suppose I should be happy that I do have that cycle--it used to be all procrastination, all the time. I used to need a flashlight to find things on my desk and a shovel to get to my bed at night. This is better; the carpet sees the light of day every month or two.

In other news, beginning today I have been able to walk without looking like a well-preserved zombie. Well, my leg still looks undead, but the motion of it has normalized. Good on me.

-stonebridge

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