09.01.2005 - 4:42 p.m.

This morning I dreamt that I was waking up to being kissed...a good kiss, warm and deep and needy. I liked it.

Except then I "woke up" and realized who was kissing me, and that I shouldn't like it from him, so I said "get off me" around our tongues, but he didn't stop and I still liked it.

So I pushed at him, get off me, and I panicked but he wouldn't stop and I hated us both but still liked it, and hated myself most of all just for that.

Yesterday the dream was that I had to hide from everyone, or I don't know what would have happened. Something awful. And I had something important with me that couldn't get caught. I kept getting caught, at which point the dream would reset.

If I had an alarm clock I hadn't trained myself to ignore, I would not have to put up with the nightmares every morning.

-stonebridge

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