10.23.2006 - 3:04 p.m.

"Self," I says, "Self, you cannot punch the wall in the shower."

"Why not?" She asks. "I really, really want to."

"Because," I says, "They'll be taking pictures of your hands."

I've lost nearly twenty pounds on the Plan-a-Wedding Diet. I can't drive anywhere without screaming at the inside of my windshield, and this morning I woke up with a knot in my back the size of a quarter. When I move, pain shoots up my neck or across my right shoulder.

This must end.

-stonebridge

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