10.29.2007 - 1:29 p.m.

So, it was our anniversary yesterday.

I'd said "We don't have to do anything big." Because I don't like to make demands or cause trouble for people. A gift is not a gift if it's been requested, and romantic gestures are not actually romantic if they've been coached. I imagined that there would be flowers and a card, or perhaps an unusual dinner reservation. I told the truth. It didn't have to be big.

I'd forgotten that I married a man who would hear what I said as, "I don't want to do anything." Because for him, just my being with him is the greatest gift I could give, and he was quite satisfied spending the day in pajamas around the house, periodically remembering what we were doing a year ago or telling me how lucky he feels or how scared he was when he bought the ring. He's actually more romantic than I am, that way. He didn't need to do anything; just having me was enough. For my part, I have him every day. I also wanted rose petals.

And I explained this, after an afternoon of increasingly confused moping during which I tried to figure out which incoherent thing was the one I was actually most upset about and why hadn't he noticed and, once I'd fallen deeper down the hole, why we were spouses at all instead of roommates. We had a good, if uncomfortable, long-overdue talk. And this morning, he nuzzled me awake and set me an alarm and told me he loved me, and it was enough to remind me why we aren't just roommates. The Crazy went back in the box.

Yesterday kind of sucked. But next year I'll explain that I want something romantic, and that "romantic" means we actually plan something during which he surprises me somehow. In a good way. And doesn't play the Sims.

He's a good man. He'll eventually figure it out.

-stonebridge

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