06.10.2002 - 10:53 a.m.

I am sitting on the loveseat as I write this, watching the ants on the coffee table mill around the space where Jimmy left a soda out last night.

We have the cute little harmless ants, not the freakishly big ones we used to get when I was a kid. But it is getting out of hand. They haven�t found the kitchen or the trashcan yet, but they�re slowly crossing the carpet, so it�s really only a matter of time. Hopefully we�ll have moved out by then. We can�t stay here when our lease is up; they don�t offer short-term leases anymore.

There are four ants in the soda cup ring, now, perhaps looking for their friends. Their friends drowned in the sink several minutes ago, when I got rid of the soda, but I�m not going to ruin their day telling them that.

Some people would say that I lead a pathetic life, being so entertained by ants. I would say that those people have never really looked at ants, or at least not the little harmless ones.

I�m idly thinking about getting some paper slips for them to run over, which I could then rearrange to make a different pattern. It would entertain me to get them all marching around in a big pointless circle. (I�ve stolen that idea from somewhere, something I�ve read. Richard Feynman?) In any case, it�s way too much effort to bother with at the moment. I�ll just watch them.

The interesting thing about ants is the way they get stuff done even though they obviously have no brains. Follow scent trail. Pick up food. Hit wall, backstep, turn ninety degrees, forward again. That�s all there is to it.

Seven ants in the cup ring now. Four was okay, but seven ants produce a disturbing amount of scurry, like when you open the door to the backyard shed and all the mice dive for cover. It starts to feel like you can smell them.

The little ones don�t squish as easily as the big ones do. Nor do they seem to engage in cannibalism�if you killed one of the big ants at home, the next in line would pick it up and head straight back to the nest.

Must remember to add 'pesticide' to grocery list.

Well, that was kinda pointless. But now you know how I spend my Monday nights.

-stonebridge

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