02.14.2003 - 10:55 a.m.

Everybody seems to be posting position statements on Valentine�s Day. My position was to forget about it until I got to work this morning and there were flowers all over the campus center, but anyway, inspired by this, veralynn and I have been trading V-day cards Hallmark ought to make:

"You drive me up a wall, but you have great taste in chocolate, so be my valentine."

"I thought we were dating, but I am not sure what you think, so happy V-day if you are my valentine, and please disregard if you're not."

"Happy f*cking Valentine's Day to you and your mistress. Sincerely, your wife and the lawfirm of So&So"

"Happy Day. I would be your valentine, but you keep downloading anime instead of paying attention to me."

"Woah. Down, boy! Happy Valentine's and all, but you MUST chill!"

�Happy Valentine�s Day, and what was your name again?�

"Valentine, it would be great if we coulda had the sense to actually fall in love. Oh well...happy day anyway."

�Happy Valentine�s Day from your mad passionate love. We can celebrate tomorrow if you're stuck with your wife all today.�

"Happy Valentine's. Humor me and pretend this is romance, ok?"

�Happy Valentine�s. Here�s to the continued use of each other to pretend we aren�t alone.�

"Happy Valentine's Day. Could you please send my heart back when you're done with it? I've enclosed a SASE. Thank you."

(Additional submissions more than welcome.)

-stonebridge

previous | next