10.09.2003 - 1:17 p.m.

Every so often I go through a period where I reorganize the various beaurocratic parts of my life. I do this not because it has ever improved my life in the past, but because feeling like an airhead bugs the hell outta me.

Take the history of myself and keys, for example.

1988-96: I used to keep my housekey on the strap of my backpack. This was perfectly workable, except that I no longer carry a backpack. There was also the additional unresolveable issue of driving a car with a backpack across your lap. Casualties: two sets lost by driving, then not returning keys to backpack.

1996: After that, I had a little keeper that clipped to my beltloops. This was great except that I had to carry my little brother on my hip a lot, and his weight eventually snapped the clasp. Casualties: one set. I never figured out where I was when it broke.

1997-99: I did find a keychain wallet which I could carry in my back pocket. However, I was collecting keys at this point (instead of home only, there was home, work, car, car ignition, college home, mailbox, etc.) and it eventually became uncomfortable to sit. Casualties: jeans pocket holes.

1999-2000: There were some unfortunate experiments with lanyards. The problem with lanyards is that I hated how they felt around my neck, but when left in pockets they catch on things, and I am not so observant that I should be allowed to use them. Casualties: Two sets, I think.

2000: I had a summer job where I kept my keys in my lunch cooler. I had to drive to the job, but the manual labor just made them chafe in my pants. Casualties: One set thrown out with the trash.

2000-2003: I just have the keys. Depending on what I am carrying and whether I am wearing a skirt, they live in my front pocket, in my purse, or in my laptop case pocket. Also they float around my apartment a lot, which is annoying in the morning when they hide from me. Casualties: two sets, and three or four times locked out of my car. Oh, and the ones I lost yesterday.

Obviously it is time for a new system, possibly even a system that works. Ideas, anyone? I am getting tired of supporting the stereotypes about blonde females.

-stonebridge

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