10.21.2003 - 3:15 p.m.

I've been moving files around the office computer all day. Organizing, archiving, compiling, all that. Writing a word outline of where everything ends up, so I can find it again and not end up with fourteen separate "stats" files.

Stupid stats files.

Anyway, I have time to write an entry at this juncture not because I'm finished, but because the desktop informed me even though I'd found that productive headspace necessary to get work done, the computer isn't gonna.

It even referred me to its union representative, who let me know in no uncertain terms that the desktop was only obligated to respond to eight clicks in any span of a minute, and that it was perfectly within its rights (as listed on the union charter) to freeze on every ninth click. I didn't even know computers had unions. I had to explain the whole list of my day's demands on the desktop, during which the desktop began to cry about being overworked and underpaid, and the representative's face got redder and redder. He finally hit the roof, spluttering ugly words such as "workplace violation," "suit," and "never work for you again."

I may have crossed a line by responding, "Fine, then we'll get a Mac," because my desktop has been frozen ever since.

-stonebridge

previous | next