12.04.2003 - 11:02 a.m.

You can only love a person as much as they allow you to. You can only give a person what they will receive. I don�t like either of those facts, but I accept that they are true. Lately it seems like there is a corollary, that even if they will accept something from you, there is a limit on how much of it you can give. I can console, but only for so long, on so many occasions. I can wait, but only for now. I can trust, but only while I concentrate on letting worry go.

I try so hard to be limitless. I don�t want to see a difference between what is needed from me and what I can pour into that space. I don�t want to be human. It is too hard, it is too small, there is not enough time or space or me.

And I know it�s stupid to try. I know I�ll run myself dry giving things I can�t afford to spend, and I know those gifts won�t make a lick of difference. I know at some point, there will be nothing left in me except distance, but then knowing that has never stopped me before. Something should stop me though. I am tired of doing this.

-stonebridge

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